UPDATE: Charge it...

Wellp, turns out Vic's battery was indeed almost 3 years old.  I bought it in August 2008.  Thankfully, the dealer gave me a new one under warranty since I had the original receipt. It suddenly popped into my head that during one visit to Taxi Guy when Vic was broken, there were jumper cables attached to it while it sat.  So it actually first died while it was in the shop, then I drove it a few times, then it sat for almost a week, resulting in the really dead battery.